BY DAVE BARRY
JAY: How did you get elected in Montana?
SCHWEIZTER: They were drinking.
In addition to being a governor, Schweitzer is a rancher who raises heads of cattle. I asked him if he has ever castrated one.
“Hell yes!” he said. He then proceeded to tell me, in extremely explicit detail, how he did it. The more he talked, the more enthusiastic he got; finally he got down on the bar floor to demonstrate his technique. He was down there for several minutes. I squatted next to him, taking notes and becoming increasingly faint. I was very grateful when he finished. (His conclusion was: “And then you throw them in a bucket.”)
After the castration lecture, Gov. Schweitzer presented both Jay and me with official Montana governor belt buckles, which are made of solid metal. This is now the manliest thing I own. Gov. Schweitzer is leaving office in January; if we don’t elect this man, at bare minimum, president of the United States, we are even stupider than I think we are.
Is this a pre-warning of what Attorney General Steve Bullock is going to bring us if he is elected as Governor? Is it about drinking, fooling around, putting Montana Citizens in prison for profit and living it up? Sorry, but this just turns my stomach in light of the “Governor Brian Schweitzer’s Prison Camps.” There is no concern about the crimes being committed by state departments, state employees, officers….too busy drinking. Well, Montana Democratic friends….is this how he views you? You must have been drinking to have voted him in. Nice, does that mean you have to be drinking to vote in Steve Bullock? They said it…not me. I would like to see someone care about us for a change. Sheesh, we don’t even get a Montana governor belt buckle.